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Her church is more important to her than you are ever will beplain and simple. I agree with what you and so many of the other replies have said: Listen with an open heart and curiosity. Do FaceTime with her when she gets there to drink tea. So while I believe that, in fact, non-celestial families still can be together forever, I also think that there must be great merit to qualifying for the whole Enchiladaвwhich I perhaps cannot fully appreciate at this time. If you don't mind some slightly off-topic advice, I can assure you that you will meet plenty of other beautiful, interesting women going forward. If you decide to marry this man, you both will find a way to be happy and have a wonderful marriage, not that perfect that we see in the Sundays at Church. And the nonmember spouse may just put pressure on the member spouse to spend more time with them. When those are not around or when the circumstances or the spirit indicate otherwise then prayer is more than enough.
Now Knowing your husband is surrounded by good looking women, makes you pray for them even harder. Even if she does, you'll be the reason in her family's eyes. I intend to spend some quality time in the temple, with my bishop, and with close family and friends as I think and pray my way through this decision, but I would also value your insights into this. I worry it will only be worse when the kids grow older.